"I wonder if this qualifies as child abuse?" my neighbor mused. We were transporting two more bull calves in her Ford Explorer this morning. Everything had been going fine until the make-shift barrier between the calves and the children fell down. Immediately, St. George covered himself with Rose's raincoat, hoping to protect himself (these calves weren't diapered), but leaving his little sister exposed.
The larger calf then tentatively licked the back of Rose's head, he considered the odd texture, approved and began to chew on her hair.
The other calf commenced bellowing loudly and Edison proceeded to interpret for us, "He is saying, 'Take me back! I don't want to be raised for meat.' Now he is saying, 'Meat is yucky. Chicken is good. Why don't you eat chicken?'"
"I take it someone didn't like dinner last night?" said my wise neighbor.
Then the Rose-chewing calf tried to get into St. George's lap. "Aack!" he screamed and tried to push the hoof back over the seat. They played this game back and forth for a while, and it looked like St. George was winning when the other hoof came over the seat and a large amount of happy-drool was wiped on St. George's head.
And just when it couldn't get any worse. . . a powerful and distinctive odor quickly filled the car. Rose's eyes watered.
"Are you ok?" I asked.
"Yes," she choked. "It stinks!"
St. George held his nose. Edison stopped talking. I tried hard to stop laughing (as that requires deep breaths at regular intervals), and my neighbor sputtered, "Child abuse. This is definitely child abuse."
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2 comments:
OK, this is definitely the funniest post I've read in a while! Is everyone OK? Is the upholstery OK?
I do not think it as child abuse. More like "Stories your kids will tell their kids when they think THEY have it bad!" heheh
Hopefully the hair will grow back quickly if it got too mangled. :)
p.s. I am going to try your pirate toast and egg recipe below...hopefully my boys will give it a try.
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